5 things Sonic can do now that he is 21

Tomorrow marks Sonic’s 21st birthday! While not a milestone like the 20th anniversary, Sonic’s 21st is a big deal in regards to the perks that come with being a 21 year-old, at least in the United States. In a very special Weekly Five, we’ll take a look at five things Sonic will be doing tomorrow. Some good, but mostly bad. Okay, mostly bad. Do you really think we’d be all cheery and PC when it comes to Sonic?

Rent a Car

While Sonic has had his drivers license for some years now, he has sadly been unable to rent a car. Given Sonic’s free spirited attitude, I don’t think ownership is a big deal with him. Take a look at the Tornado. It’s Sonic’s plane, but he let Tails pretty much have it. Sonic has cars in the Drift and All-Stars games, but I’m sure it was killing him to have to buy the damn things. Now that Sonic is 21, he can free himself from the shackles of ownership and rent from here on out. Given the cost of a transforming vehicle, I’m sure he is very happy to rent come this November. Only downside, most rental companies place a surcharge on renters under the age of 25. D’oh!

Get Drunk

You knew this one was coming, so best to say it earlier than later. Come tomorrow, Sonic will be drunk off his hedgehog ass. SEGA doesn’t want to admit it, SEGA of America DEFINITELY doesn’t want to admit it (given how they feel about cleavage), but it’ll happen. Given Sonic’s ability to wolf down a chili dog in a single bite, and his penchant for speed, I can see Sonic downing insane amounts of alcohol in a short amount of time. Sonic would probably go with a gold lager, anything with “Gold” in the name. Something cheap, no doubt, so he can afford one hundred of them. I just hope that Sonic doesn’t think downing one hundred beers leads to an extra life, because in reality it will lead to an instant death. Barry Says: Drink responsibly, Sonic!

Buy a House

Sonic has been homeless for over twenty years. Think about it, not once has Sonic had a place to call home. He’s always off “adventuring”, when really he’s just a dirty drifter claiming to be on an adventure. Sonic needs to be real with himself and his lifestyle. It’s time to have a place to call home. No more sleeping in Tails workshop or under a palm tree. Sonic needs to buy a nice place with the rings he has amassed over the years and settle down.

Have a talk with Amy Rose

I know there are a lot of Sonic and Amy Rose shippers out there, but lets be honest. Amy is just too young for Sonic. Sure, in the games Sonic and Amy are only four years apart, but a 12 year old and a 15 year old still doesn’t sit will with me. Neither does a 21 year old and a 12 year old. Sonic needs to sit Amy down and break to her that he is not interested and that if she continues to pursue him, he may very well end up in Prison Island. Amy doesn’t want that, so hopefully she’ll give the ‘hog some distance and then Sonic can give Elise a call when Amy isn’t around.

Hit the Casino

Sonic is a good guy, but one area where he has constantly broken the law is at the casinos. The guy wasn’t even two years old and he had already developed a gambling addiction! This carried over to games including Sonic Adventure, Sonic Heroes and Sonic 4 Episode 1. The whole time, Sonic was collecting his winnings illegally. Maybe now that he is 21, Sonic can gamble guilt free.

So tomorrow, after downing a hundred beers at home, Sonic will hop into his rented roadster with Princess Elise and head to Casinopolis. Happy birthday Sonic! You deserve to have some fun.

Drunk Sonic image credit goes to monakokko

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25 responses to “5 things Sonic can do now that he is 21

  1. Shigs says:

    Actually, if Sonic and Amy were initially 3 years apart in age (15 – 12) then Sonic is 21 and Amy is 18. Also, if we are going by years they were created, Amy is more 19-20 by now. Oh great. I just gave someone a really bad fanfic idea. XP

    • Don’t overthink it, otherwise Deee-Lite will tease you. 🙁

    • crackdude says:

      I love me some Sonamy fanfic.

    • Barry the Nomad says:

      Walking to the locker rooms after a long day of All-Stars Transformed racing, Sonic failed to notice the small skirt on the silhouette of the hedgehog attached to the ladies room door. Passing Ulala and MiMi (who makes a cameo), Sonic entered the shower room. From behind a wall of steam came a high pitched voice saying “Sonic?”. Sonic froze. “A-Amy?” stammered Sonic.

      To be continued…

    • Hitrax says:

      This article is really for American audiences mainly I see, in European territories, the UK in particular, this is no real big deal as you can smoke, drink and buy a house younger than 21, especially up in Scotland I hear, you can get married and have all the same rights as a fully grown adult under Scots law, and can do everything from 16 years old.

  2. matty says:

    He can slam 7 gram rocks.

  3. Sharky says:

    He can now act on those homosexual feelings he’s been having.

  4. Doreen says:

    I laughed so hard while reading this article, I just had to comment! Happy early birthday, Sonic! I’m definitely gonna have to retweet this tomorrow on my twitter.

  5. rii says:

    All for 21 yr old Sonic and 12 yr old Amy.
    That pic with Sonic drinking looks wrong in a different way.

  6. SkyBlue says:

    When I saw “have a talk with Amy”, I was thinking pervertedly.

    To be fair though, Amy has waited a long time for “it”.

    Other then that, Sonic could have drank in the UK 3 years beforehand as well as rant a house too (I think you have to be 16/17 to be classified as “self reliant” as your parents CAN kick you out at that age.

  7. Hitrax says:

    This article is really for American audiences mainly I see, in European territories, the UK in particular, this is no real big deal as you can smoke, drink and buy a house younger than 21, especially up in Scotland I hear, you can get married and have all the same rights as a fully grown adult under Scots law, and can do everything from 16 years old onwards, just how it’s always been there.

  8. You don’t have to be 21 to buy a house or smoke in the US either. A legal adult is 18.

    • I never listed smoking as an activity Sonic can now do, so I’m sure he’s been smoking for a while. As for buying a house, it was my understanding that being 21 means you don’t need a co-signer. Considering all of Sonic’s friends are under 20 years old, he couldn’t buy one til now. Unless I’m wrong, and in that case no biggie. Sonic isn’t real anyway. (:^O

    • Kai Hinkins says:

      Well weird that in Australia to become a adult you have to be aged 21

  9. Hell says:

    Hello, which game is that one with the house?

  10. Hell says:

    Thanks guys!

  11. Kai Hinkins says:

    Sonic was 15 and Amy was 12
    So 2015?
    Sonic will turn 24 and Amy will be 21

  12. Kai Hinkins says:

    Sonic is nearly 24! Imagine how hard he would be working!

  13. Liz says:

    Well amy and sonic are 3 years apart it doesn’t matter but I think SONAMY is better that sonadow

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