Real-talk.
Well, I just had the final conversation with the girl who was once my girlfriend for 8 years. We had broken up before Christmas 2012, long story short we wanted different things, she wanted to move away to study and she did. We broke up, she found someone else and moved on.
For the good of my soul I deleted her from facebook and removed her from my life as much as I could bare too. 2013 was the hardest year of my life bar none. Felt like I'd lost my best friend, the person I loved and the entire future I had envisioned. It really sucked all the colour out of the world... Que depression, anxiety, panic attacks and self imposed solitude for a good 6 months.
Eventually, in Spring 2014 when I felt human again I added her on facebook, like I told her I would when I was ready, we greeted each other and spoke formally once every couple of months just "hello's" and "hey do you remember's" nothing close and that's the way I wanted it. At this point I no longer loved her and I was semi-happy again.
Fast forward to recently, she sent me a message saying that facebook is proving too much of a distraction and she had chosen to close it down and asked did I want to go through her old albums and save old photos. Which we did together today for 2 hours while chatting, catching up and remembering the past. Que the nostalgia bomb... 8 years of memories I had not dared look at for the past year and a half...
Once we saved what we wanted, we said our goodbyes and wished each other well in the future. It felt like a real goodbye, some kind of closure on that era of my life... With a feeling of nostalgia, relief, happiness and peace.. But also sadness, emptiness, loneliness.... And tbh some hungriness... I closed my laptop, went out onto my porch and cried like a bitch, while eating a block of cheddar.
Also this is the reason I have been absent from Segabits... I don't know how I feel, but cheese is slowly filling the hole.
