April Fools

Sega Genesis Wumbo announced exclusively for North America and Sega Mega-Drive Micro announced exclusively for Japan (April Fools)

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In a most bewildering twist, Sega have announced their next big vision for mini consoles, and I do mean big. They’re returning, once again, to the Sega Genesis well with the announcement of the Sega Genesis Wumbo for North America exclusively and the Sega Mega-Drive Micro for Japan exclusively. Nothing has been announced yet for Europe.

Both consoles are essentially the same thing as the two Genesis Mini consoles before them, but now with a new and unexpected gimmick. Japan’s Mega-Drive Micro will be half the size of the original Mega-Drive Mini. It will be so small, in fact, that it will come with a special, separate USB-C adapter for both HDMI out and power input, as the console will be too small to fit an HDMI port and a power port on it. North America’s Genesis Wumbo will be twice the size of an original Model 1 Genesis console (Not the Genesis Mini. The original Genesis console from 1989). Controllers will also follow suit, with the Mega-Drive Micro’s controller being half the size of an original controller while the Genesis Wumbo’s controller will be double the size.

Sega have not yet announced a release date for the two consoles, but they have announced a starting lineup of ten games. Have a look past the break to see what those games are, along with more information.

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Rumor: Jet Set Radio Past in development by an undisclosed indie studio (April Fools)

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Jet Set Radio is set to make an amazing return to the limelight with a rumored updated port of the original Dreamcast classic and a confirmed brand new game on the way, but it looks like this two-fer might end up being a three-fer.

According to games insider Applefuel, an indie studio is working on a JSR game of their own titled “Jet Set Radio Past”. In an inversion to Jet Set Radio Future (2992), this game is looking like yet another reboot of the series, now taking place many years back in history. It’s not known for now how far back in time the game is meant to take place, but the game seems to feature a “Caveman Beat”, “Rokkaku Dinosaurs”, and a “DJ Pterosaur K”. A very interesting creative direction, indeed.

There is no news yet on what sort of developer is working on this game. Fans are speculating so far that it may be the work of Team Reptile, creators of the hit game Bomb Rush Cyberfunk. Interestingly, reports are also saying that this developer, whoever they are, didn’t even bother approaching Sega for the license to work on a Jet Set Radio game, believing Sega would never approve, but that they would also not even bother sending a Cease & Desist order because “they still do what Nintendon’t”. Oooooooookay…?

We don’t usually report on such silly rumors here on SegaBits, but what the hell, it’s been a boring day. If more news comes out, you’ll hear about it when you tune into the #1 Sega news network in town: SEGABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITS!! After all, it’s never a gamble reading reports from the nerds we employ here.

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Sonic X Cream Advance announced as a remaster with new Cream the Rabbit content (April Fools)

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In a surprise announcement, Sega has revealed that an HD remaster of Sonic Advance (2002), named Sonic X Cream Advance, is in development. Taking after last year’s Sonic X Shadow Generations, Sonic X Cream Advance brings back the original game made for the Game Boy Advance, the very first original Sonic game on a non-Sega platform following Sega’s exit from the console market. The game will be rebuilt from the ground up in up to 4K resolution on all platforms supporting it with rebuilt physics and new animated cutscenes, all very much in the style of Sonic Origins.

Cream the Rabbit, who would not be introduced until this original game’s sequel, will star in the game as a new 5th playable character with all new levels meant to be traversed exclusively by her and her reliable Chao companion Cheese. These portions of the game will also feature a brand new story written by Ian Flynn, in order to tie the previously non-canon Sonic Advance into the Sonic timeline officially. No story details other than that have been revealed so far.

For more info on this exciting news, check in after the break.

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Sega has partnered with Steam to announce a new handheld-gaming PC: The Sega Teradeck (April Fools)

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Ladies and gentlemen! It finally happened. Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, dogs and cats live together, Half-Life 3 is coming out soon, and Sega are about to (technically) finally make their grand return to the console hardware market.

In a surprise announcement, Sega have announced a partnership with Steam (Not Valve, the company. Steam, the product.) which will see the two join forces in launching the successor to, not only the Sega Dreamcast, but the Steam Deck: a new handheld gaming PC. The Sega Teradeck, named after Sega and IBM’s old Mega-Drive compatible PC the Teradrive, will be a handheld PC capable of playing all the latest PC games. It runs on a new operating system called SegaOS, features its own curated store consisting exclusively of games made and/or published by Sega, and also features compatibility with Steam, allowing Steam users to bring over the vast majority of games they have purchased on the popular PC game storefront throughout the years.

With handheld gaming PCs on the rise following the popularity of existing handheld PCs such as the Steam Deck and the ASUS ROG Ally, as well as the innovative Nintendo Switch, many computer manufacturers are gearing up to enter this soon-to-be crowded market. Even Microsoft looks to be making one of their own to be part of the Xbox family. Sega will be making a bold step as a newcomer to this scene, but retro Sega fans the world over have reacted with nothing but excitement.

To learn more about the Sega Teradeck, come on down past the break.

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Sega Genesis Mini 3 announced for North America and Japan exclusively; Details and first 10 games revealed (April Fools)

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Sega, out of nowhere, just announced their newest mini console and successor to the Sega Genesis Mini 2. The Sega Genesis Mini 3 will be releasing on October 16th, 2024 exclusively in North America and Japan (Sorry, Europe, but you better get ready to import.) Unlike the previous two Genesis Mini plug-and-play consoles, this console will release in the exact same condition both in North America and Europe, as the Majesco-built Genesis 3 console was released originally only in North America. This means the console will have the exact same game lineup worldwide and will be known as the Genesis Mini 3 even in Japan.

At the same time, Sega have revealed that the console will include 50 games while also revealing what the first 10 games will be. Like with the previous two Genesis Minis, more games will be revealed gradually throughout the year before the console’s retail release. To find out what the first ten games are, check in after the break while containing your excitement.

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Sega announces a 99% stock purchase of Nintendo (April Fools)

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In a move that shook the entire video game industry, Sega Sammy Holdings Inc. have announced that they have purchased a 99% share of Nintendo. Yes, that Nintendo. SegaSammy president and CEO Haruki Satomi have announced their near total takeover of Sega’s former console war nemesis late yesterday, March 31st, 2024, for exactly one billion yen.

So what is keeping Sega from acquiring the remaining 1% of Nintendo? Check in past the break to find out.

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Engineer discovers “Blue Sky Burn-In” issue, prevalent with all Sega games; issues precautions (April Fools)

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I don’t wanna alarm you, Sega fans, but I must inform you that Sega games have, for many decades, been damaging our eyes and our TV sets all along. A shocking discovery was just made by retro game engineer Salporoifl of an issue in which all Sega games, with the exception of any Atlus games pre-SegaSammy acquisition, can potentially burn a perpetual blue tint into your TV, monitor, or even your eyesight, if left playing for too long. Salporoifl has called this issue the “Blue Sky Burn-in” effect. (This also includes any Sega games not published by Sega, such as Streets of Rage 4) If you’re too careless in your Sega gaming sessions, blue, blue skies will be all you see.

Precautions have already been figured out, so check in after the break to find out how you can protect yourself and your displays.

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Introducing… This is Playstation, a show all about the best 32-Bit system!

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Hey dudes! Are you ready for the most radical gaming show this side of 1996? It’s THIS IS PLAYSTATION!

Yes, an all-new show dedicated to the sleekest, most powerful 32-Bit system on the planet; the Sony Playstation! To give this thing quite the test drive, we’re booting up some “RIIIIIIDGE, RACEEEEEEER”! It’s gonna be a gnarly time, with plenty of driving, drifting, and 90’s techno jams! So gear up dudes and dudettes!

This is Playstation is a video series created by AWESOME teenager Liam ‘Radicool’ Ashcroft, aiming to “swood” look at Sony Playstation gaming, all whilst doing some TIGHT skateboard tricks offscreen!

…Now, bow to your new Sony Overlords. This is a hostile takeover. 

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Bayonetta Saved Anarchy Reigns? SEGA Comments!

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Following SEGA West’s announcements, many SEGA fans were immediately left wondering what the new direction means for lesser known and new IPs like Rhythm Thief and Anarchy Reigns. While we don’t know the status of the former, we can comment on the latter. Gaming news site GamingBiz.com reached out to SEGA over the weekend asking what the status is of Anarchy Reigns and SEGA responded:

Anarchy Reigns may appear to be a new IP, but it is actually building on the characters featured in 2009’s MadWorld. In anticipation of the July release, which is still scheduled, expect a series of trailers reminding fans of the MadWorld connection. Also, we know it’s no secret that Bayonetta has been revealed as a bonus character. Given Bayonetta’s popularity, we believe that giving her representation in marketing and on the revised boxart will increase awareness of Anarchy Reigns.

A new title and revised boxart? That’s quite a big change for the game, but it makes sense. SEGA wants to focus on popular established IPs, so putting more emphasis on the game’s MadWorld and Bayonetta connections is a very smart move. This also appears to mean that Bayonetta will not be a DLC character, but rather a guest character much like how Banjo-Kazooie were called out on All-Stars Racing box art. Read the full article at GamingBiz.com and don’t trust everything you read on a day like today, even if it doesn’t sound so crazy.

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Virtua Fighter meets Street Fighter

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Check out SEGA of Japan’s new April Fools video for Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown. They are showing the new gameplay, but does it remind you of another game?

Maybe it is a game called Super Street Fighter 4. Maybe? Just a bit? Pretty cool prank, lets hope they keep it up.

[Thanks: STORM!]

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